What is your price? How much are you worth?

I'm free to a good home.

I'm worth $42.

$29.99 plus shipping and handling call today and order 8675309

Dear Jan,

It is only 10:30 here in the morning, and the best I can do for calculating my worth is to quote Shakespeare 116 sonnet (which is a fancy way of saying I DON'T KNOW)...

It is the star to every wandering bark,
Whose worth's unknown, although his height be taken.

I am worth exactly two dollars and a Casio watch -

It depends on who you talk to. My wife, my cronies or my detractors (they are few, but vocal) will all give you different answers. Only my accountant knows for sure.