What would you think if you recieved an invitation to a baby shower, at a local diner, asked to bring money for your own lunch (dutch), and the mommy only wants diapers and wipes?

I would think someone was thinking of me and I would go, pay for my own lunch, bring a package of diapers and baby wipes, have fun and be happy.

If it was a second, or more, child, I would say the mom-to-be is looking for a day out without putting too much pressure on her friends. And gladly comply. I would find that an odd thing for a first child.

I would honor her request and enjoy the shower.  Whatever makes her happy!

I would go, but bring my own boxed lunch and give her a highchair.

If this is her fourth child, she already knows what she's going to need. It is a little crass to have everyone go Dutch at a diner. That's the weird part. She could have had this at her home, provided lemonade, water and cookies. On the invite, she could have put - Mama needs diapers for the baby! - and called it good.

So I'm with you on the approach. However, as we wind our way in this world, there aren't many people out there with courtesy and manners and think nothing of manipulating people to get what they want. At least you know the diapers will go to good use. She could have had a link to an expensive baby site.

I would think someone was kind enough to think that I would want to join the celebration...and I would appreciate just being included.

  Showers (whether it be a bridal shower or baby shower is irrelevant) .. It's a gathering of support in honour of an event.

I think it's a great idea to throw an event like a shower to honour, celebrate and provide a gifting opportuntity for a new mother .. At no cost to anyone.  There is nothing wrong with just being present at the event and gifting the new mother with such basic items .. In fact I think it is brilliant!

After attending a few baby showers myself. If someone invited me to theirs and only wanted me to buy my own food and throw them a pack of diapers and wipes I would say, Thank you! And honestly, diapers are one of the best gifts you can give the baby. If that's all she's asking for maybe she's already had things given to her or maybe she still has items from her other children (if she has any) and don't need anything else but diapers and wipes. Babies use A LOT of them. I guess I've been to too many showers where it feels like they want me to furnish the whole home..lol..so I would say I was lucky if I was just asked to bring diapers and buy my food.

When we have showers for the girls at work, we all go to a local restaurant each one of us buys her own meal and then everyone pitches in for the mother-to-be's meal. The weird thing is I've never gone to a baby shower for someone who is having their fourth child.  Usually by then you have everything. But if they are strapped for money I see no reason why you shouldn't go and have a good time and give her whatever you can.