Is It Rude To Not Attend A Function, But Attend The Meal Celebration Afterwards Instead?

In this scenario, you have to ask yourself a couple of important questions - namely, does it bother you that your cousin doesn't wish to attend the baptism, and do you find it offensive or insulting that they chose not to?

It seems clear that you are bothered by the fact that your cousin and her family don't want to come to the event, but are quite happy to come to the meal afterwards, however, is it not an acceptable reason? That's the decision you have to make, as well as maybe considering if your cousin makes a habit of doing this kind of thing...

Personally, I can see why you are bothered by this, but at the same time if they are genuinely concerned about the disturbance their children might cause, then it's nice that they are concerned enough to bring it up. In your position I would consider talking to your cousin and explaining that you've perceived it as a bit rude that they're not prepared to attend the baptism, but are happy to turn up for the free food!

Don't let it get to you too much though. I can imagine that additional stress on top of all the stress that comes with organising any event like this is the last thing you need!

Final thought - my girlfriend also just suggested that maybe her husband stays at home and looks after the kids, whilst your cousin attends the baptism, then they all come and join you later for the meal?

I think what you propose is an excellent idea. Why don't you propose to your sister that having her at your son's baptism would be very meaningful to you, and you would appreciate her presence at this important ceremony. Yes, her family could join her at the meal afterwards. I think it was nice of your sister to consider that her children might be a distraction at the ceremony. I'm sure there was no intention to be rude. I hope your sister is able to make the important event!