Anonymous

How do I tell my friends and boyfriend that my health is declining and I might have a serious illness? My doctors said it's likely I have a terminal illness developing based on my current health issues that have been worsening. My family already knows. I don't know how to explain it to other parties.

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4 Answers

Lard Ass Profile
Lard Ass answered

Just like you did here. Best just to be honest and answer his questions to the best of your ability. Beating around the Bush and sugar-coating the problem doesn't do any good for anybody!

Arthur Wright Profile
Arthur Wright , Florida Paralegal with a BS degree in Social-Psychology, answered

You don't, other than your Family and BF, it really isn't any one elses business unless youre looking for sympathy. You just need to live life like nothing I wrong here and move on and enjoy it while you can. Only the important people in your life need to know this so you can't be accused of with holding info But its not going to do any good for anyone else to know this except you want to be smothered by people feeling sorry for you which sometimes is worse than the suffering itself.  So if they don't need to know, don't tell.  Sorry to hear this and good luck

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Bikergirl Anonymous
What your words were: "Family & BF" .. That is way more specific than "the important people in your life" .. It's only logical for people who are close to a person be told about their condition if given an opportunity .. because chances are they are going to hear it from someone. If you think it will be some sort of 'secret', you are kidding yourself. Talking about it with the people you care most about, helps to form a support system. Of which will be welcomed and gratefully utilized by everyone involved. I hardly think THAT is 'smothering with sympathy' as you so eloquently put it. Saying that it 'isn't their 'business' couldn't be further from the truth'.
Arthur Wright
Arthur Wright commented
You can sugarcoat it any way you want. I shoot straight from the hip and always have on here for years now but I can sit here all nite contradicting you but wont as you've stated your opinion and I have mine, right or wrong
Bikergirl Anonymous
Can't see what you are claiming to be 'sugar coated' ... if anything, I am suggesting the exact opposite of 'sugar coating' .. I am suggesting to be brutally honest to the people who matter .. If you think otherwise, that is your opinion...and I guess we will have to agree to disagree.
Bikergirl Anonymous Profile

My advise is to just tell them .. Share with them what you know about your condition, reach out to them..and allow them to reach back. This is a time to band together with everyone you care about and who care about you .. This way you can help to find the emotional support you'll need, at the same time as offering an opportunity to allow your friends to BE friends, when you need them most.  That is your legacy. 

I am so sorry about your diagnosis, and truly hope your health improves.  I say that from the bottom of my heart .. Prayers sent.

Shinypate one Profile
Shinypate one answered

The most difficult part of handling a serious health concern is telling people you love, but that is exactly what needs to be done eventually. When would be the best time to tell others? When you first get the diagnosis, and have not adjusted to it? When you are fighting it, and need their support? When you are depressed and down, feel beaten, and are at risk of giving up? 

I suggest you talk this out with a social worker at the hospital or with another counselor or priest/rabbi/minister. It is always best to surround yourself with cheerleaders.

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