This is gonna sound harsh but it is the truth and I don't know any other way of putting it except straight to the point. So please forgive me ahead of time if it comes across as rough. The things you just ask comes with growing up and maturity. It will come to you as you get older. :0)
Just pretend you don't care. Pretend to be confident in yourself even if you aren't, and it will start to come naturally.
Nova, no matter who you are, no matter what you do, the world is full of people who will put you down. They're sad little people who would be better turning an eye to their own faults which may be far greater than any fault they perceive in you. Don't empower them by worrying about what they think. It's YOUR life; live it YOUR way.
The fact is that no matter what we do -- well, short of riding naked through Coventry, perhaps -- nobody really notices. They're all tied up in their own lives with their own problems, and lots of them are just as worried about what people might think about them.
I very much like Tris's answer. It's practical and it works. Just pretend that you really don't care and, very soon, you'll find that you really don't.
Good luck.
There is an old proverb and it's pretty accurate:
No one can make you feel inferior without your consent.
Now, the key to self esteem is based on two important things.
1) You have value, just because you exist---you don't have to earn your value, it comes just because you are who are.
(And not everyone you meet is smart enough to know what your value is---personally, I have always felt sorry for people like that who just aren't able to get how much value I have just because I was born.)
2) And you have value because you have something to offer others--your temperament, insight, sense of humor friendship, and all sorts of things.
Work on owning those two facts about yourself.
If you place how you feel about yourself in the hands of others then you not only give them the power to make you feel good, but also feel bad. Why be a puppet?
I often think how great it would be if the older you could go back and give your younger self some advice, tell them it's going to be ok, and that as you get older you don't place so much importance on what others think. Tell them no matter what you do in this life, remember to have fun, because life passes us by so fast, and it is rarely measured by our outward successes, but rather how we felt, the fun we had, the unforeseen challenges we conquered, and the people we shared it with.
Didn't find the answer you were looking for?