It can indeed be extremely difficult to forget your past experiences, especially if they affected you in a deep way.
Experts feel that one cannot actually forget one's past; instead, one can use the experience as a learning one, and learn from the painful experience.
In addition, if you try to forget your past, experts say you will not succeed. Your past will always be stored within your brain in small sections and fragments, and these will surface when you least expect them.
Therefore, it is a better idea to forget about forgetting your past, and learn to face it and deal with it head on, and this will help you to overcome your problems in a better manner.
You can then make changes in your life, you can then move on, instead of repeating, endlessly, the same mistakes that you have made.
Enjoy life and what life has given you, be with your loved ones and lead a positive and happy life - and don't hang on to your past.
There is nothing you can do, to change what happened in the past, no matter how bad it was.
You have to just try to concentrate on your future and how you can improve it.
I can't imagine what you've been through.
It's very difficult to tell someone else how to cope with this and move on.
If you can't forgive them can you at least try to put them away so to speak because the more you think about them the less you'll be able to move forward.
None of us can go back and change the past but we do have the power to control the present and the future.
I do know at least two people who have had a terrible, traumatic time as children and teenagers and they are living happy, fulfilling lives and I asked them how they got to this stage in their lives.
They told me that they haven't forgiven but they have reconciled themselves to what happened and refuse to allow themselves to be victims of their past.
One said that she has put her unhappy memories in a mental 'attic' so the unhappy memories are stored away and are rarely brought out now as life has got better. She is doing well at university and is very happy due to her strong will and positive attitude.
The other person has worked hard to get a good job and happy family life of her own and says she can only be hurt by the past if she lets it intrude on the present and she refuses to do this.
These methods have worked for them.
If you can't forgive and forget, have you tried counselling? Neither of my friends ever had any as they said they worked out their own way of dealing with the trauma but for some counselling can help.
I don't think you have to forgive them if you feel you can't but you can forge ahead and make so many positive and good things in your life that you have a future worth looking forward to.
Living with a sorrowful past will stop you having a happy future. Try to refuse to let them still be with you now if you can and move forward .
I do hope you find a way to cope with this.
What is past? The things that are gone. So that bad phase has gone away, so consider that harmful past as an example and move ahead. I know it's really very hard to forget but nothing is impossible, if you have the determination you can do any thing.
What is most traumatic may be a death or other loss; although it is a great loss we never stop living and breathing, if there is a bad time then it's an indication that a pleasant time is waiting for you.
Just look around; you will find many people facing troubles or you may find that there is someone who is more helpless than you, never lose hope.
The only way to satisfy yourself and to move ahead in your life, is to start doing those things which make you happy and which satisfy you. Never hate yourself, love your life because life is one of those precious things which you can never have again.
Enjoy it; drive an aim of your life. Look around; may be someone is waiting for your love and support. Motivate yourself because no one can help you until you help yourself.
The best way is not to forget the past, but to learn its lessons and move on, wiser.
Forgetting the past is a very tough one in life. The best way to forget is think about the future plans.
It is VERY difficult to forgive people who have caused us irreparable loss in the past.
It would definitely hurt us every time we remember the incident on our own, or when something related is done or said.
But, we have to think ahead of this statement, and much ahead of these hurting thoughts. Even though in our mind, the question is: HOW should we forgive, actually MORE important questions are- Whether & WHY should we forgive?
The person did or said something in past, and we got hurt. Now, that person is no longer in front of us. But, we have nurtured the hurt so much that just by recalling that incident we feel miserable. Nurturing hurt can give us nothing but only unpleasantness.
The question now is, we can not change anything that has happened in the past.But, thinking about that in our present, we are neither able to enjoy our present happy moments, nor we can work efficiently.This may ruin our future!
So, the best thing for us;to live our remaining life peacefully and happily, is TO FORGIVE. This reason is LOGICAL and self explanatory.
Yes. I guarantee YOU its going to BE VERY DIFFICULT.
But, BEST solutions in life are NOT always so EASY!
We have to learn to FORGIVE, for only then would we feel much lighter at heart.
Forget the past and enjoy the life with present whatever you have and be happy.....
No, there is nothing you can do about your past - especially if you have a husband who always throws it up at you all the time..
So don't tell your husband about your past if you want to be happy, and if he is a drinker leave him or you won't be happy at all!
The most difficult thing in life is to forget the past.
Even though we try to move ahead in life, still the past memories haunt resulting in more pain and suffering.
Again the desire to avoid the suffering fron the recollection of the past keeps us away from going to back to the past.
But once this desire of avoiding the suffering dies down, the past haunts you till you go completely to the lowest of your emotions, So it all depends on our desire to live the present and future which keeps us away from past.
In my case, I did not forget the past but decided to forgive it. I made supportive friends who helped me to forget that.
I hope you will be able to do the same.
I just found this blog.
I read and cried
I think all the people's words are so right, there is a song "forgiving not forgotten"
Let it go- let it go- Then one day it will go...
Some people would just keep it as memories while some prefer to throw it away. But when you happen to mind about your partner's past, what can you do?