It is OK to be sad: We want the people we love near us and we miss them when they are no longer around. We were sad when we left home to go to college. We were sad when we left home to start our own family. We were sad when our child went to kindergarten, away from us. We were sad when dear friends moved away. We don't like to be separated from familiar people. It's distressful. But we got over it.
Death is just another form of separation. Think of the time when you and your husband toured a famous mansion, a large museum or visited a huge amusement park. At some time he might have gone ahead, into another room, to look for the things of more interest to him. Just because you could no longer see him, it didn't follow that he no longer existed. He has done it again: Moving ahead of you. Depending on your belief, you may catch up with him after a while, or you may just meet up at the exit. Either way, you are still here, in this room, right now. Look at the things around you, the people around you, and make the most of what is here. You may not have another opportunity for a second visit.
You have my deepest thoughts and prayers. I lost my husband at an early age (car wreck) 13 yrs ago. My only advise is to survive, survive for those who are still with you, for his memory, and most of all for yourself. Everyone deals with death differently, no one and I mean no one can say they know what you are going through, they might have an idea but it's different for everyone. Remember, talk about it as much as you need, support groups are great, write, draw, or paint your thoughts out ( I did poems), cry, cry, and cry some more- it is a form of healing. I won't tell you it will get better with time, but it gets easier to handle and continuing living with only memories. I still talk to my husband daily and my heart is still empty, but I have continued to live and I have moved on with my life. I went through every phase you could think of and I have survived them all. I even thought I was going crazy (hearing him, seeing him, feeling him) but this is normal, you are not crazy if this is happening to you. I know it is hard but be strong and remember he may not be physically here but he is with you every day and always will be.
You are entitled to your feelings, and no one can tell you how long you should grieve. You will be sad for a while, and that's understandable. Try not to allow your loss to consume you. If need be, see a grief counselor. I know from experience. Having someone who you can share your feelings with, can be of enourmous help. I also recommend lovelyme's advice about the "Grief and Loss" group. The group members have suffered losses and they can understand how you must be feeling. They can be a source of support and comfort. Plwase join us.
I am very sorry for your loss. All I can say is everyone is different. Don't put a time line on your grief based on what other's say. You will deal & heal in your own way & in your own time. If you feel you need to cry then cry! If keeping busy makes you feel better than do that. I knew one lady who said it made her feel better to put together a scrapbook of all the memories from the moment her & her husband met, even the tough times they had at the hospital when he was dying of cancer. So everyone is different. If you're thinking of seeking professional help maybe try a counseling center, that way there are more specialties & different services all under one roof. The last thing you'll want right now is the stress of going to a counselor to find that their style doesn't work for you & have to search again for another one. Good luck!
I don't think you ever really "get over" the loss of someone. My husband has been gone for 3 1/2 years and I still feel the loss which creeps up when I least expect it. I was married for 38 years and when you lose someone it's not only them but you lose part of yourself, the role you were to them, the role you had in life. It's not as intense or raw as it was but to get over it is a fallacy. I think that over time we learn to deal with it better when these "triggers" happen. I pray each day to my lord Jesus Christ to give me strength for that day and sometimes I have easier days but it still can resurface at anytime. He was a christian and I know he's in heaven and I look forward to seeing him again, that helps comfort me.
Time is the best healing device. You will feel pain. There is no remedy for it. You have to make yourself busy in some work.
No one can control his/her thoughts. You have to bear the fact that he is no more and you have to live alone. You need to think of your life ahead. People come in this world and die. We don't have any control over it.
Pray for your husband and make yourself busy. Meet your friends and relatives.
Loss is always a tough thing. I am sorry for your loss. Remember your husband.. You will be sad on some days, but just remember your relationship and all the fun you had. I still have my husband (who is also my best friend... I know we're sappy like that) but I do know that if either of us left this earth we would not want our other to be moping around and being sad. We only live once, don't waste it in your guilt or sadness, he would not want that... He WOULD want you to be happy.
I am very sorry for the loss of your husband. Very glad you are reaching out for help in your time of grief. As others have said, grief is different for everyone. There is not a magic time when you are suddenly over it. You lost a very special part of your life and his memories will always be with you - they will be a large part of your healing. I agree with robbier - seek help from a grief loss counselor in addition to signing up for blurtit's grief and loss section. When I have lost family or friends, my comfort has always been in the Lord and by continued praying. He is there to help you through this difficult time. I pray that you will reach out for Him...
I think there is no answer anybody can give to you.. The only person who may find the answer is yourself. Only with time you may find a way to live.. Or just live without understanding it. I have similar situation. I lost my best friend and dearest person I have been friend with for 10 years. I am 25 now and it has been already 3 years since I am alone.. I have been looking for the same answer and hoped that somebody as a miracle can show up and help me.. Take away the sadness and all the pain and give me a peace.. But there is no such things. Nobody can help you with this, because this is only between you and your loved one.. I still do not know what to do with my life, but unfortunately or may be fortunately my life goes on by itself.. I wish you find a peace and the pain will go away one day. God blesses you
I am very sorry for your loos, I lost my husband 20 months ago in a very tragic way, I still blame his friends for being selfish, not doing enough to help him survive, later he was left from a paramedic to die as he failed too, to start resuscitation, you can only imagine the amount of anger and sadness, I strongly believe he would survive had he been given a chance and I know no one can bring him back, no counseling or antidepressants can cure this pain not the best doctor in this world can bring my or your husband back, not even friend or closest family member can help with this its only you who can do something about it. I went back to work two weeks after I lost my husband and I have been working since, I have other commitments so I could not give up but I am still struggling, I will never get over his death, I hate when people say.
I can understand how you are feeling somewhat. I lost my grandmother in April--she raised me and is more of a mother to me than my own mother--and it is terribly hard. There is really nothing anyone can say or do to help. I will tell you that the only comfort I found was in God. When I feel that the day is unbearable, I pray. You'll be amazed at how it helps. I hope your pain will ease with time..as I keep hoping mine will as well. I will keep you in my thoughts and prayers. God Bless!
I know how your pain feels. My 17 year old son died, suddenly in 2005. They pain is still overwhelming. Day to day life is not the same and I have accepted it will never be the same. I ask God every day to give me courage to keep getting up everyday. People say time will help. I am still waiting on that to be true. I do know that you should surround yourself around people you love and people who loved your husband. Don't ever stop taking about him, he is and always will be part of your life. I talk to my son Matt everyday. And every day that goes by we are one day closer to being with them again. And that will be forever and it wont hurt anymore. Please hang in there, you are not alone......always believe.
I think the best way to handle is just to think that he is a better place. He is in heaven!!! He is also in your heart 4 ever!! Ever body has to die some time in their life. When you die you will get to see him. He is in your heart and your are in his heart. But you can let it interfere in your life!! You still love him and he still loves you!!!`He is looking down at you right now. Live your life the best you can!! Remember he love you and god blesses you. P.s this is answered by LQ. If you want me to answer your questions do this LQ-Then your question!!!!!
I know what it's like to lose a husband. All you can do is move on & try to talk to friends and family, sometimes even someone that knows how hard it is & what it's like. Take one day at a time and cherish your memories you shared. Pray, it also helps.
I'm really sorry for the loss of your husband. I can understand it's really very difficult to face such a situation. You must keep urself busy, try going out and talking to friends. I believe it'll be good for you not to stay alone. Because when you'r alone, all you can do is think or engage urself in some work. So try to keep urself always engaged in somework. Everything recovers with time. You need sometime. Try not to keep anything in your heart share your feelings and emotions with some1 this way you'll really feel light. May God rest your husband's soul in peace. Ameen.
Hello: My lost started a long time ago, I lost my first born child, then in 1998 I lost my middle daughter, This year, I lost my first biological grandson, like some others have said, there's no limits to grief, or ways, everyone does it different. I have always remembered the good times I had with my daughter and grandson. Keep your memories close, write, seek a group, do what you can to get through. I'm so sorry for your lost.
Hi, I am really sorry for your loss, and understand it must be very hard for you. You sound really depressing. Maybe you should talk to your kids or your friends to talk about your sadness and your feeling. Its not good to pretend to be good, as you will get more stress and more sad. There is a group in blurtit called Grief and Loss, I think you can join it and people there would definitely support you! Finally, I wish you all the best!
You could maybe talk to some support groups or if you have friends you could talk to them if they're really your friends they'll listen and try to help you through it
I'm so sorry for your loss. It must have been very difficult for you. I don't think it's unusual to still miss him. You probably always will, but it's time to get back to living your life. Are you working? If not, try to get a job. Get out and be with people. Being idle only gives you more time to dwell on his death. See your friends and family. Find something that interests you. Do some volunteer work. Anything to turn your attention away from your grief. If you are unable to do it on your own, see a grief counselor. That could do wonders for you. Best wishes.
Grieving over a lost loved one is necessary to help get past it and get on with your life. If you grieve too long it becomes a problem for you and is not what the loved one would want for you. Someone famous once said, "let the dead bury the dead, rise up and follow Me." I think it means that you have to get back on the road of Life and clear your head on this loss: It was real, it happened, and it's over. Counselling is a very positive experience on these matters too. Really sorry it's hitting you this hard, I grieved 11 years over a tragic loss of a parent, and you know, looking back, they would not have wanted that, and it did me no good. Now I honor their memory but I also honor my own life.
