Your comment on bar mitzvah gifts couldn't be more wrong. Cash is the most appropriate gift to give, as it has been for generations. And it is much easier for people who do not know the child well to give money instead of trying to figure out what a 13 year old will want. Just how many video games can one kid have?!? We have found that only kid friends who are invited to a bar mitzvah (without his parents) should give a gift that is similar to a birthday present.
Everyone I know uses his/her bar/bat mitzvah money to start a college fund, after they give a percentage to a charity. This event is quite often a production similar to a wedding, and the gift should be similar to that as well. The typical gift at my son's recent bar mitzvah was $50 to $100. Multiples of 18 are symbolic, so $36, $54, $90 etc are common denominations and are considered lucky. Grandparents, great aunts, etc. Tend to be even more generous.
However callous it may sound, it needs to be said: If the affair was a big sit-down event and there was more than one of you, then a $36 gift is pretty darn cheap of you.
Everyone I know uses his/her bar/bat mitzvah money to start a college fund, after they give a percentage to a charity. This event is quite often a production similar to a wedding, and the gift should be similar to that as well. The typical gift at my son's recent bar mitzvah was $50 to $100. Multiples of 18 are symbolic, so $36, $54, $90 etc are common denominations and are considered lucky. Grandparents, great aunts, etc. Tend to be even more generous.
However callous it may sound, it needs to be said: If the affair was a big sit-down event and there was more than one of you, then a $36 gift is pretty darn cheap of you.
